Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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