did you get engaged???
I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
