Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Randomize
