ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
