you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
she smelled like a LAN party
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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