Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
