Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
