Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
