tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
It's rum buckets o'clock
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
