He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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