If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
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