I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
there is puke in my bra ... again
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