i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
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