I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Randomize