he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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