Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
she smelled like a LAN party
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
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