hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
