Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I FOUND THE LEGS
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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