The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
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