i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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