We named our party play list daddy issues
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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