Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Duck Duck Cougar?
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Randomize
