Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
