Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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