Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize