she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
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