can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
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