I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
