Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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