The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
