Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
