Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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