In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize