I puked a lego.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
