idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I skipped work to stalk him.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
it's great music for shaving your balls
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
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