Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
