I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
