i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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