I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
