Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Randomize