So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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