I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
