the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
