loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
