I will die if light touches me.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
