I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize
