Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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