I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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