some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
A+ Viking dick
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
