Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
