remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
