Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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