I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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