I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
