Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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