Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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