drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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