she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
